Humour: The Ultimate Dressage Test

By Joanna MacDonald, et al

The Test For Horses Unsuitable to Become Anything

  1. A. Enter at ordinary serpentine.
    X. Sprawl. Salute.
  2. C. Stop dead. Stare in horror at judge and shy to left.
    Continue at ordinary working gallop.
  3. E. Stagger left 20 or 15 or 22 meters in diameter circle or pear shape or five pointed star. Avoid excessive crossing of legs.
  4. K. Begin to halt.
    Z. Keep trying.
    F. You can do it.
    B. Pulley rein. Give up. Continue at out of hand gallop.
  5. H. Regain right stirrup. Continue at ordinary trot, bouncing.
  6. MKT. Change rein. Free walk with loose reins. Remove horse from judge's luncheon table. Ask judge for leg up. Jump back into ring.
  7. Z. Turn down centre Line.
    Halt. Grin. Scratch. Burst into tears. Leave area at free walk on long reins, loose language.